Music of the Night
by Phoenix Soar
Summary: Forgiveness and absolution cannot undo the past, and some deeds can haunt a person forever – however, Lucy is adamant that Edmund deserves his fair share of happiness, no matter his earlier actions ... Edmund & Lucy sibling bonding


**SUMMARY: Forgiveness and absolution cannot undo the past, and some deeds can haunt a person forever – however, Lucy is adamant that Edmund deserves his fair share of happiness, no matter his earlier actions. **

**DISCLAIMER: All canon characters and the Narnia-verse belongs to C. S. Lewis. The rest belongs to me.**

**WARNINGS: Bit of angst, probable OOCness and sibling bonding fluff. That's about it, really.  
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**A/N: This fic is set during the Golden Age when the Pevensies ruled Narnia. Edmund is around seventeen and Lucy is fifteen-ish (I hope I got their age difference right) in this one. No big plot here; I just wanted to write a fic depicting a slightly older Edmund and Lucy having a heart-to-heart about stuff both important and nonsensical, and just having some fun - simply because I love those kind of fics! XD**

**Please note that this is a one-shot I wrote to relieve some revising-for-exams stress, so my writing might not be up to my usual standards. Also, I haven't read that many Narnia fics, but some ideas in this story might have been used before in others, so there might be cliches.**

**Anyway, enjoy! XD**

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**MUSIC OF THE NIGHT**

Lucy Pevensie lightly ran down the stone, marble steps that led from the southern servants' entrance of Castle Cair Paravel, all the way down to the narrow dirt track which headed towards the nearby forest that nearly surrounded the majestic structure. It was a long, tiring way down, but she did not slow as she almost skipped down the steps, sticking to the shadows as much as possible to avoid being seen by unwanted eyes; it was already midnight and the moon was out, and she did not want to be stopped by anyone and thereby miss a moment of the breathtaking sight that was awaiting her.

She upped her speed once she reached the trees. Silver swathes of moonlight that managed to filter through the leafy canopy overhead were splashed over the leaf-strewn forest ground, making it relatively easy for her to find her way along the dirt track through the dark forest. The path abruptly took on an eastward direction and Lucy followed it breathlessly, finally slowing down when the ground began to slope downwards severely. Several minutes later, she finally caught a glimpse of her destination ahead and she took a chance and broke into a run again. _Almost there_.

At long last, the endless trees gave way to a beautiful vista of a sandy beach and a shimmering sea that seemed to stretch on for eternities on end. With a gleeful laugh, Lucy finally came to a stop and gazed around with sparkling eyes, taking in the breathtaking panorama before her. The full moon, which was already high in the obsidian sky, beamed brightly down at her, outshining all the surrounding stars that twinkled merrily in the firmament. The ocean was calm and like glass, and small waves lapped at the long strip of sandy beach which had an ethereal glow in the moonlight. It was a vision the likes of which she had rarely seen and Lucy laughed a high, clear laugh in ecstasy.

For a moment, she wished that she had at least woken her siblings and dragged them down with her to share the beauty of this view, but a second later, she dismissed the thought. Peter, for all that he was the High King of the beautiful land of Narnia, was not much of a nature person, Susan would probably be more concerned with getting eight hours of beauty sleep, and Edmund...

_He would've probably just told me off for waking him up in the middle of the night and thrown me out of his chambers_, Lucy thought with some amusement. _But still_, she thought as she removed her slippers and began to walk along the beach, gazing out at where the sky and the ocean seemed to overlap; _it's a pity that they're missing such a pretty view..._

She turned away from the sea and her eyes lit up when she saw a large rock that seemed to protrude up from the sand. The small waves could reach its base, and though it was high, the top of the boulder was quite smooth and flat from what she could see. Lucy began to run towards it; it was the perfect spot from where she could have a wonderful view of her surroundings and, despite the fact that it appeared to tower over her, she was positive that she could scale it. However, when she was only a few feet away, she realised that someone else had already taken that spot...

For a moment, she felt afraid. Who would be out on the shore at this time of night, she wondered; but then her eyes took in the features of a familiar face bathed in moonlight, and her eyes widened slightly when she recognised who it was.

'Edmund?'

The sound of his sister's voice startled him from his thoughts, and Edmund turned around in surprise and stared down at the slender figure that was standing a yard or so away from the rock on which he was perched. 'Lucy?'

'What are you doing here?' Both of them asked at the same time. A moment of silence followed, and then Lucy began to giggle into her hand. Edmund looked down at her and felt a small smile creep up onto his face as well.

'Go on, you answer, Lu,' he drawled, shooting her a lazy smirk. 'I asked first.'

'You did not, Ed,' Lucy huffed. She put her hands on her hips and glared up at him; there was no real anger in her eyes, though.

Edmund shrugged carelessly. 'Either way, I'm still the big brother here. So, you have to answer first.'

His sister let out an exaggerated sigh and shook her head. 'You never change, do you, Edmund Pevensie?' Despite her mock scolding tone, a sudden smile unfolded on her face and Lucy stifled another giggle.

For a moment, Edmund said nothing. A strange look flitted across his features, so fast that Lucy almost missed it, and then he turned away from her and looked up at the moon. 'I guess I don't,' he murmured; his tone was low and had a sorrowful touch.

The grin on Lucy's lips faded away at once and anxiety began to take hold of her. 'Hey, Ed,' said Lucy in a soft voice. She approached the rock and discovered that, up close, it was not as high as she had initially thought it to be. It was only a little more than a foot or so taller than her, and she could easily reach Edmund who had swung his left leg down over the side of the boulder.

'Hey,' she repeated, lifting up her arm to touch his hand that rested in his lap, 'what's wrong, Edmund?'

Edmund gazed out at the horizon for a long moment before he turned back to Lucy with a small grin that did not quite match his eyes. 'It's nothing, Lu; don't worry about it.'

'Liar!'

'Don't worry about it,' he repeated more forcefully. 'Besides, aren't you supposed to be asleep? It's after midnight, I'm sure.'

'I could say the same thing to you,' Lucy retorted as she dropped her slippers and gathered up the long skirt of her nightgown, preparing to climb up beside her brother. However, she only managed to just reach the top of the rock and hung there pathetically, unable to pull her entire body up and over the edge.

Edmund began to laugh as he watched her claw at the smooth surface in a vain effort to find a proper handhold. Lucy turned to scowl at him, affronted and somewhat hurt, but then she saw the warmth and playful glint in his dark eyes, and her annoyance subsided somewhat.

'Oh, shut it, Ed,' she grumbled, 'and help me.'

'All right, little midget,' Edmund snickered. Before the teasing insult could sink into his sister's mind, he grasped her upper arms and hauled her up easily in one smooth movement, wrapping an arm around her waist as he did so in case he hurt her. A grateful smile began to unfold on Lucy's face, and she opened her mouth to thank him. Her appreciation disappeared faster than a flash of lightening, though, when Edmund – instead of setting her down gently like she expected him to – unceremoniously dumped her in a heap beside him with all the subtlety of a charging Minotaur with a hernia.

'Ow ... thanks a lot, Edmund,' Lucy said with a frown as she sat up and let her legs swing down the side of the rock.

'You're very welcome,' he grinned infuriatingly at her. 'So, why are you out here at this time of night again, Lu?'

Having already forgotten about their little quarrel, Lucy merely smiled happily before she gestured at the vast expanse of ocean that lay before them, glittering in the radiance of the moon. 'Because I simply could not go to sleep without coming down here to see this! Isn't it just lovely?' She sighed dreamily.

'Er ...' Her brother glanced dubiously at the magnificent scene she was pointing at before he shrugged apathetically. 'I suppose so.'

Lucy looked around at Edmund with wide, almost accusing eyes. 'What, don't you think it's pretty?'

All that she got in response was another half-hearted shrug.

'Boys,' she sighed exasperatedly. 'No appreciation for the beauty of Mother Nature at all.'

'Girls,' he shot back easily with another provocative smirk. 'Always with their heads lost up in the clouds.'

Lucy opened her mouth to retort, but her mind refused to provide the required comeback and she had to close it again. Edmund sniggered at her, but the good-natured humour that sparkled in his eyes managed to keep her ire at bay.

'All right, fine, have it your way then.'

'Of course, Lu; I always get my way in the end.'

'Ugh! You're hopeless, Ed!'

'Weren't I always?' he drawled as he lay down on the boulder. Folding his arms behind his head, he made himself comfortable before he shot her another galling smile.

Lucy had to make a conscious effort to fight down the increasing temptation to strangle him. She was fully aware that, after the incident with the White Witch, Edmund only put on such supercilious acts just to get a rise out of her. He no longer harassed her out of spite, and she also knew that the best way to counter him was to ignore his taunts – but that was easier said than done. Her brother knew exactly what to say and when to say it.

Pushing away the indignation, Lucy turned back to face the ocean. Neither of them spoke for the next several minutes as she drank in the view to her heart's content, while Edmund lay quietly on the boulder, staring straight up at the obsidian sky. All was quiet until Lucy caught sight of a single shooting star that appeared in her peripheral vision, and she turned at once to mark its trail through the heavens with her eyes.

'Look, Ed,' she cried, reaching for her brother to bring the meteor to his attention. 'It's a shooting star!'

'Hmm?'

'A shooting star! Right _there_ – aw, it just vanished. But didn't you see it?' She turned to face him. 'It was so big and ...'

Her words slowly faded away when her eyes focussed on her brother: Edmund was barely paying any attention to her. He was not even looking at her. Instead, he was gazing at the twinkling heavens above and Lucy saw that his eyes no longer held any of his earlier wit at all; they were darkened and filled with a myriad of emotions and deep feelings she could not hope to decipher. His face seemed to reflect his inner thoughts and Lucy grew worried, for she had never seen Edmund look like that. She had seen him angry and spiteful, ashamed and culpable, joyous and content, but never so ... haunted.

'Edmund,' she whispered, edging closer to him. She gave his shoulder a little shake when he did not respond.

'Lucy,' he answered without so much as glancing at her, and as if he knew what was on her mind, 'I already told you, everything's fine.'

'Ed, please,' she pleaded, too worried to get angry at his blatant lies, 'tell me. I know you're lying. Something's bothering you, I can see that. But you know perfectly well that you can tell me or Peter or Susan anything, right? Please, tell me, Edmund.'

'Lu ...' he sighed, squeezing his eyes shut. 'You won't understand; no one can understand –'

'And why is that?' she demanded in an uncharacteristically sharp voice. 'I'm almost fifteen, Ed! I'm not a child anymore. I understand a lot more things than I used to –!'

'It's not that.' His voice was just above a whisper by then and he sounded pained, almost vulnerable; and Lucy realised that he was, either consciously or unwittingly, showing her a side of him he had never publicly expressed before. 'You won't understand not because you're young, Lucy, but because ... you've never experienced it. You can never know what it felt like – what it still feels like. You have no idea what it's like to bear that terrible cross ...'

For a moment, Lucy could think of nothing to say. What he was saying made no sense to her. In the several years that they had ruled Narnia so far, Edmund had never done anything that could be considered immoral. Every decision he had made, every action he had executed, everything had been done with the best of intentions in exactly the right way; so much so that, frequently, Lucy had even felt as if he was almost pushing himself to the limit in order to live up to his title of King Edmund the Just. Nothing he had done so far had been in the wrong, or earned him a bad name, not since the White Witch...

'Edmund,' Lucy asked very quietly, finally beginning to get a vague idea of what was troubling him. 'Why are you really out here?'

He snorted softly. 'Well, why do you think? Because I couldn't sleep, obviously.'

'Because of whatever it is that's troubling you ...?'

'Couldn't get any more obvious than that now, could it, Lu?' he said sarcastically, shooting her an "are-you-going-to-ask-any-more-stupid-questions-or-was-that-the-last-of-them" look as he did so.

'Well, sorry, I was just trying to help!' she huffed, folding her arms across her chest petulantly.

There was silence for a moment, and then Edmund quickly apologised, 'Sorry, Lu; I didn't mean it like that.'

'I know. It's OK.' She smiled at him as he sat up and drew one knee to his chest. 'And Ed ...' she added somewhat nervously, 'I understand if you really don't want to talk about your problems, but ...' she peeked at him a little uncertainly, 'I want you to know that I'll listen if you ever want to tell me...'

Edmund smiled at her then; an affectionate, genuine smile the likes of which Lucy had only ever seen a handful of times. 'Thanks, Lu,' he murmured, mussing her hair fondly. 'Maybe I will tell you ... as soon as you catch your slippers,' he cracked, suddenly looking at a point beyond her.

'What?' Lucy exclaimed, completely caught off guard by the abrupt change in their conversation.

'Your slippers,' Edmund continued to laugh as he pointed at the base of the boulder, 'they're not here anymore.'

'What – _oh no_! They're gone!' Lucy cried in dismay as she quickly looked down at the sand below and saw that her slippers had, indeed, vanished. 'Where could they be? Where'd they go –?!'

'Whoa, calm down, silly,' Edmund chuckled as he pointed over her shoulder. 'They're right over there.'

Lucy turned to follow his gaze. At first, all she could see was nothing but the moon-bathed beach and ocean, but then her jaw dropped open in horror when she saw her beloved slippers floating on the waves, getting farther and farther from the shoreline as the current pulled it away.

'I ...' All she could do was watch, dumbstruck, as her favourite pair of bedroom shoes drew further away from her. She continued to stare even after they had disappeared from her line of vision.

After a few more seconds, Edmund chose to break the horrified silence. 'You know, Lucy, that was _really_ smart of you,' he said matter-of-factly with a perfectly straight face, 'to leave your slippers in a spot where the waves could easily reach and snatch them away faster than a greedy Centaur can snatch a piece of carrot from unsuspecting hands. Yes, your decision was completely and utterly justifiable, definitely.'

'Edmund ...' Very slowly, Lucy turned to face him. He took one look at her eyes before he quickly leaped off the rock and ran for his life, laughing all the way.

'_Come back here_!' Lucy yelled furiously as she carefully jumped off the rock before sprinting after him with murderous intent. 'Edmund, I'm going to –!'

'Kill me?' He called over his shoulder with a Cheshire-cat grin on his face. 'Well, good luck with that, _Lucykins_! Catch me if you can!'

'You bet I will, _Eddie_!' But even then, Lucy knew it was a lost cause. Edmund was incredibly fast. He could outrun all his siblings in a race, and even many of the Narnian creatures – with the exception of a few such as the Centaurs and Leopards – found it hard to match him when it came to speed. Lucy forced her legs to carry her as fast as they could, but it was in vain; she could not gain on her brother as he increased the distance between them.

She was already panting, but she refused to give up and continued to chase him fruitlessly. Edmund glanced over his shoulder and when he saw how far behind she was, he slowed down and turned to face her, running backwards. Even from that distance, Lucy could see the sly smile that spread across his face, and she frowned slightly. She knew _that look_: it was the one he always wore right before unleashing a merciless tirade of provocations and teasing jokes; and sure enough...

'Come on, O' Valiant One,' he called loudly, grinning devilishly at her, 'you can do much better than that! See? I'm right here, come and get me!'

Huffing, Lucy increased her speed, growing even more determined to teach her brother a lesson. Still running backwards, Edmund changed direction so that he was heading towards the sea until Lucy was chasing after him along the strip of beach where the waves could swirl around her ankles. Her feet slapped wetly against the mixture of salt water and sand, causing bits to fly up and soil the hem of her nightgown, but she paid no attention. Her mind was entirely focussed on Edmund, who was only fifteen or so feet away from her by then, and her brain struggled to devise a fitting punishment for all his teasing.

Her brother waited until she was a few feet away from him before he turned and began to run normally again, though more slowly than before. He let her close in behind him before dancing out of the way when she lunged forwards, always keeping himself tantalisingly close but maddeningly out of reach.

'Ugh, come here, Ed!' She leapt forward to grab him, but Edmund, with a nimbleness that Lucy dearly envied, managed to evade her yet again.

After who knew how many failed attempts at seizing Edmund, Lucy found herself bent over, clutching her knees and panting heavily. She was completely out of breath and her legs, which were slightly shaking by then, did not feel strong enough to carry her weight anymore. As she tried to calm her pounding heart, a sloshing sound reached her ears and she glanced up to see a grinning Edmund approaching her, dragging his booted feet through the ankle-high waves.

Lucy scowled petulantly at him and was about to tell him off, but before she could so much as open her mouth, Edmund had darted around her. Her mind had barely caught onto what had happened when a chuckle sounded in her ears and next thing she knew, her brother had thrown her over his shoulder as if she were a sack of potatoes, and was wading out into the sea.

'Edmund!' Lucy cried when she realised what he had in mind. 'No, stop!'

He chuckled again and laughed even harder when his sister began to beat her small fists into his back. 'What's the matter, Lu? Afraid of getting a little wet?'

'Edmund Pevensie, don't you dare! Don't you dare throw me in that water, I'm warning you! Ed, _please_,' Lucy switched to pleading when he did not slow down. She could see that the water already reached his mid-thighs. 'Please don't! It'll take a long time to get back to the castle and I might catch a cold if I get my clothes wet. _Please don't do it, Ed_!'

Edmund hesitated for a moment, and then he sighed and turned back around. 'All right, fine! Spoilsport,' he added. Lucy could almost hear the disappointed frown in his voice and she smiled slightly.

He put her down gently when they reached the shore. Lucy paused for a second before she dashed forward to meet the next wave. She bent down and with one swift flick of her arm, sent the water spraying towards her brother. A look of surprise crossed Edmund's face as the droplets splashed on his face, but then he burst out laughing.

'You little cheater!' he accused jokingly as he ran forward to counterattack. Half laughing and half shrieking Lucy bolted away from him, partially conscious of how ironic it was that he was the one chasing her now. But, of course, that she was the one being pursued now did not mean that she could escape. It was just a matter of seconds before Edmund caught up with her and practically bowled her over as he grabbed her around the waist.

'All right, all right, you win already!' Lucy managed to gasp as she lay on the sand, completely winded. She held up her hands as if to protect her face from Edmund who was looming over her.

'Glad we agree on that one,' he chuckled before moving away to lie down beside her. A comfortable silence fell between them as they lay side by side for the next few minutes, not speaking as they gazed up at the sky like they had done so earlier that night.

A happy smile slowly spread across Lucy's face. She and Edmund had never really shared any moments like this before. Certainly he had grown much nicer to her after that pivotal life-changing moment during their first year in Narnia, and he definitely teased and made fun of her on a daily basis, but they had never truly bonded like this before. It seemed that whenever Lucy was with Edmund, Peter and Susan were always with them. Of course she had not minded it; but she had had many moments like this with both her eldest siblings, though never with Edmund and she had always wondered what it would be like to talk and have fun with her brother like she had done so with Peter and Susan on numerous occasions.

_So this is what it's like to really be with Ed_, she thought. _It makes me feel happy and warm_. It was not very different from what she often felt after having spent some fun time with Peter or Susan, but at the same time, there was also something special about hanging around Edmund. Perhaps that was because he was the only one of her siblings with whom she had never seemed to share that deep a relation. Or maybe it was because he was more annoying that Peter and Susan combined and was always taking the mickey out of her. Whatever it was, it brought her contentment and a sense of fulfilling, as if being with Edmund tonight had somehow developed a deeper connection between them though they had done nothing more than just talk about nonsensical things and chased each other all over the beach.

Lucy wondered if Edmund had realised all this as well and she turned her head to look at him hopefully. What she saw, however, drove all the previous inner reflections straight out of her mind and her eyes widened in both concern and surprise. Her brother had the same haunted look on his face that he had had earlier. His eyes were sorrowful and his brows were slightly creased. A stony expression dominated his features, but they did little to mask the depth of his distress.

With a sigh, Lucy sat up and looked down at the unmoving form of her brother sadly. She knew that he did not want to talk about what was troubling him, but all the same, she did wish that he would share it with her if only to lessen the burden on his mind. She hated seeing that look on his face; the helplessness, the vulnerability – it did not suit Edmund at all. He was someone who radiated power and strength, much like Peter (for they were almost equals in those respects out on the battlefield), and also intelligence and authority. He was not one to look weak and fragile as he did now.

Edmund finally felt his sister watching him and he glanced at her. 'Something wrong, Lu?'

Lucy said nothing for a few seconds as she continued to eye him. She wanted to see him happy and smiling like he had been only minutes ago. She wanted to see that teasing sparkle in his eyes and hear his carefree laughter again. She never wanted to see him look so despairingly troubled ever again because, whatever Edmund seemed to think, she knew that he did not deserve such a degree of misery. She did not know what the cause of his sorrow was, but she was determined to put an end to it.

'It's so lovely out here tonight, isn't it?' she finally said, turning to gaze out at the horizon.

Edmund gaped at her, taken aback and confused. 'Lucy, you've already said that before. Besides, that hardly answers my question.'

'I mean, look, it's such a beautiful full moon,' she went on, ignoring him. 'And the sound of the waves – it's so soft and sweet! Makes me want to dance ...'

Slowly, she got to her feet and stood facing the ocean. Edmund sat up and stared at her, still puzzled at the abrupt change in their conversation. Why had Lucy started talking about the night's beauty again all of a sudden?

'Lu, are you sure that you're feeling all right?'

Finally, Lucy turned to him. Edmund blinked in mild surprise when he saw how her lips were curled up in a lopsided smile and that her eyes were gleaming with laughter and mischief.

'Hey, Ed,' she said in a rather teasing tone, 'dance with me.'

'What?' he spluttered. That was not what he had been expecting to hear.

'Come on, Edmund!' Lucy begged, but her eyes continued to sparkle with amusement. 'It's so pretty and peaceful out here! How can you not want to dance?' As if to emphasise this point, she did a graceful pivot on the spot and began to sway.

'Easy,' Edmund replied with a snort. 'I hate dancing, you know that. Besides, aren't you a little too old for this dancing-in-the-moonlight thing? It's something only a ten-year-old would do!'

'As if leading me on a wild chase all over the beach and nearly dumping me in the sea were very mature things to do! And you call _me_ the spoilsport, Ed?' Lucy smirked. 'Come on, Edmund, please.' She gave him her near-perfected version of the puppy dog eyes she always used on Peter and Susan. It had never failed her before and it seemed that even Edmund was not immune to its charms.

'Ugh, fine!' With a groan, Edmund hauled himself to his feet. 'But honestly, Lucy, how can you dance? There's no music even.'

'Of course there is! There's the music of the night. Just listen.'

He gave her a look of mild exasperation before looking glumly out at the ocean. It took him several seconds to understand what Lucy meant by the music of the night. The soothing sound of the waves lapping against the shore seemed to dominate the night, and mixed with it were the soft whispers of the wind as it stole through the trees behind them. Occasionally there arose the call of some night creature or insect and they all merged together like some beautiful orchestra. Lucy was right; it certainly did sound like music.

He marvelled at Lucy's ability to make even the simplest of things, like the sounds of the night for instance, appear to be something far more complex and exquisite. He turned to her only to see that Lucy was no longer beside him, but she was near the trees that bordered the beach. She had both her hands pressed against one of the palms and, closing her eyes, she whispered a few words that he could not catch.

Edmund's eyes widened when, next moment, the tree spirits seemed to emerge all at once. The fluid humanoid forms, made of nothing but flowing small petals and leaves, rose from the forest and spread out above the long stretch of sand, twisting and twirling around in a slow rhythm. Their soft ethereal voices blended with the music of the night as they sang their songs in harmony. It was a beautiful and otherworldly sight.

There was a wild happiness on Lucy's face as she ran back to Edmund. He gave her a dumbfounded look.

'You called for the trees to join us?'

'Of course,' she grinned. 'There's no fun in dancing alone.'

For a moment, Edmund was speechless. But then a smile he could not repress suffused over his face and he finally gave in. There was a magic about Lucy, her innocent ways and her perception of the world that ensnared people and, apparently, even he could not escape it. If he were to be truthful to himself, he did not think that he wanted to fight it, either.

'All right, then, Lu.' With an exaggerated sigh, he reached for her hand. 'I'll dance with you.'

Dancing with Lucy that night was far from boring, which brought him great surprise for, ever since he had begun his reign as a king of Narnia, the one thing that Edmund had loathed more than anything else was learning to dance for the numerous parties that they always seemed to be holding at Cair Paravel. This was partly because, despite the fact that he was nimble and lithe on the battleground, he did not possess the delicate elegance that dancers required. There was also the fact that he did not like the stifling formality of ballroom dancing. Of course, he had not complained about this – that much – but his abhorrence of the activity had never lessened over time.

However, there was none of that mechanical stiffness present in the dance that Lucy led him on. She pulled him along the beach, almost prancing like a little girl and giggling ecstatically. Her joy was contagious and soon Edmund found himself laughing too as he twirled her around among the tree spirits that continued their own willowy dance, still singing in their tinkling voices. The two of them were waltzing in such a ridiculous manner that Edmund was sure that if Susan (who simply adored dancing) were to see them, she would have popped a furious vein. The comical thought printed a rather hilarious image in his mind, and Edmund threw his head back, not bothering to hold back the bout of hysterics.

Lucy began to grin when she saw how happy her brother looked. Well, who would have thought? Her plan to make him forget his pain had worked, and she had actually made him enjoy dancing, too, in the process – quite a remarkable feat.

'What?' Edmund asked with a smile when he noticed her staring at him.

She simply shook her head and let him twirl her around before answering, 'I was just thinking that I'm really happy that we discovered Narnia. The sights, the sounds, the ... well, _everything_! They're all just perfect, really. Aslan did an amazing job creating this world, didn't he?'

'Aslan ...'

Lucy looked up in shock when Edmund stopped dancing abruptly. In less than a second, all the elation on his face and voice had disappeared. His expression darkened as if a thundercloud had descended over his features and his eyes grew hollow and unfathomable. Lucy winced as his grip on her hand tightened and, when she glanced down, she saw that his knuckles looked unnaturally white in the moonlight.

_Again? What – what in the world is going on with Edmund??_

'Ed,' Lucy said sharply. 'This is going too far. All this time I've been trying to help you and, when you refused to confide in me, I tried to make you forget what was making you so miserable. Obviously it didn't work, but,' her biting tone mellowed to a soothing, yet imploring tenor, 'Edmund, I _want_ to help you through whatever it is that's bothering you. I can't do that if you won't tell me. Please, Ed, please just –'

'Lucy, I already told you that you won't understand –'

'You cannot know that, Edmund, until you give me a chance to understand you...'

He avoided her eyes and said nothing for a long while. The tree spirits, sensing that the two siblings needed some privacy, slowly drifted back towards the forest while Lucy waited patiently for Edmund to meet her eyes again. He never did, but at length, he sighed and sat down on the ground, patting the sand beside him invitingly. Her heart sped up slightly in anticipation and she flopped down beside him and eagerly waited for him to speak.

'You asked me why I was out here,' he began uncertainly, still looking at anywhere but Lucy. 'The honest answer to that question is that being out here, it really helps to clear my mind.'

Lucy looked uncomprehendingly at him. With a sigh, Edmund elaborated, 'The truth is that this is not the first time I've come out to this beach in the middle of the night, Lucy. I come here a lot of times ... when the nightmares keep me up ...'

Lucy blinked, startled. _Nightmares?_ She gazed at Edmund who was looking resolutely at the horizon, his cheeks flushed in mild humiliation. Lucy had had her fair share of bad dreams and she could still remember how Edmund used to tease her about being a baby before they had come to Narnia. Perhaps that was the reason why she had never thought of her brother as someone who would suffer from insomnia courtesy of nightmares himself. To know such a thing ... it made him seem so much more human somehow.

'What are the nightmares about?' she asked in a low voice.

Edmund swallowed thickly. 'About what happened when we ... first came to Narnia and how I ...'

'Ed!' Lucy interjected. 'That was years ago! All that is past and done with. You know that you don't have to worry about that now –!'

'You see, Lucy, _that_ is why I didn't want to tell you,' Edmund interrupted rather harshly, looking stonily at her. 'I knew you wouldn't understand!'

She bit her lip to keep them from quivering. Edmund was right. She could not comprehend why the events of their initial bad beginning in Narnia were still tormenting him. She herself tried her best not to recall those horrible winter days, the White Witch, Edmund's betrayal – she was far happier not remembering them now. After all, it had been years since the incident and everyone had already forgiven her brother. He was greatly loved and many looked up to him. There was no reason for him to have nightmares about that now.

'You're right, Ed,' she whispered at last. 'I don't understand. But ... if it helps, I'm still willing to listen ...'

He looked at her intensely for a long moment and then his eyes softened. 'Then please don't interrupt me.'

She merely nodded.

'Like I was saying, I still have nightmares about how I ...' A pained look flitted across his face before he schooled it into a neutral expression again, 'how I betrayed all of you when we first came to Narnia. I still remember how wicked she was, and sometimes in my bad dreams, I can almost feel the coldness of that ice castle of hers.

'But that's not what my nightmares are really about, Lu. Almost always, it's about how – how afraid I was back then. When I first learned of what the White Witch was capable of, when I saw what she had done to your friend Mr Tumnus, after she nearly killed me ... I was so scared, Lucy. I tried not to show it, and I've never talked about it, not even with Peter, but I was terrified.' His voice quivered very slightly, but he continued, 'I kept imagining what she might do to you and Peter and Susan; whenever I closed my eyes, I would see the three of you turned to petrified stone as if you were never alive in the first place, or something even worse ... and it would have been all my fault.'

He stopped then and closed his eyes, taking a deep shaky breath. Lucy watched him silently, her eyes full of tears. True to her word, she did not say anything, but she longed to embrace her brother and tell him that it was all fine now, what he had done no longer mattered...

As if he could read her mind, Edmund said quietly, 'I know that it might seem silly to have nightmares about this, especially since it's been years, but that's the part you cannot understand; and not only you, Lucy, but anyone else who haven't experienced that same fear as myself. You cannot possibly imagine what it's like to have deliberately committed treachery for your own selfish gains only to get backstabbed, and then be forced to obey every whim of Jadis, all the while fearing that your only family might fall into enemy hands. You don't know what such fear can do to a person, Lucy. If the White Witch had managed to capture you,' His hands clenched into fists, 'I would've lost all of you and I would've had no one to blame but myself –'

'Oh, Ed!' Lucy cried, unable to hold herself back anymore. She scooted closer to him and threw her arms around his neck, not caring about how uncomfortable her new position was. 'Ed, please,' she tried in vain to fight back the tears, 'it didn't happen! We're all safe now and no one blames you anymore. Everything's OK.'

'Yes everything's OK now,' Edmund hugged her back briefly before gently pushing her away, 'but that doesn't mean that I can ever stop thinking about what could have happened because of me. You might not be able to empathize with it, Lucy, but I was a traitor, and that guilt is something that I'll have to live with for the rest of my life. It will never truly go away, not even if I manage to redeem myself.'

_You already have redeemed yourself_, Lucy wanted to say, but before she could, Edmund murmured suddenly, 'You know, the nightmares aren't always too bad. Sometimes months would pass before they come back, and lately, they haven't been as intense as they used to be ... but tonight –' Another look of pain passed over his face, but this time, Lucy caught something akin to fright as well, '– I couldn't even sleep for an hour ...'

He fixed her with a look that was so penetrating, so forceful that she actually grew frightened. 'Why didn't you tell me, Lu?' he asked hoarsely.

Her bewilderment at the startling question drove away all the trepidation at once. 'What?'

'Why did you never tell me,' he repeated, still gazing so intently at her that she felt as if her very soul was exposed to his piercing eyes, 'about what Aslan did? When the Witch came for me ... The sacrifice at the Stone Table ...' He buried his face in his hands and shook his head. 'Why did no one ever tell me?'

Lucy was struck dumb. She stared at her brother with wide, unbelieving eyes as he wound his fingers in his dark hair, looking so helpless that it was almost heartbreaking. When she remained mute, he finally looked up at her, a multitude of emotions whirling in his eyes.

'Lucy?'

She was finally able to speak. 'How did you find out?'

'Tonight,' he whispered. 'You were talking with Susan ... I heard ...'

Lucy turned away, shamefaced. True, the topic had come up in a conversation she had had with Susan that night. They had been alone in one of Cair Paravel's many rooms, or so Lucy had thought, and the two of them had gotten around to talking about a lot of things as they tended to do. The topic of the White Witch and of Edmund's betrayal were not ones that frequently arose in their conversations, but by some turn during their latest talk, the subject had surfaced and a few words, especially of Aslan's sacrifice to save Edmund's life, had been exchanged. But had Lucy known that Edmund had been within earshot...

'You weren't supposed to know,' she finally muttered, looking down at her hands. 'I'm so sorry, Edmund ...'

'Why? Because I know? Lucy, don't I have a right to know –?'

'We didn't want to hurt you, Ed!' Lucy looked pleadingly at him. Now that she knew how much pain the old, unwanted memories caused him, she could somewhat understand how this recent knowledge would affect him. She could only hope to imagine how agonising this was for Edmund, to know that his soul – which, in his eyes, did not seem to mean much because of the mistakes he had committed in the past – had been saved at the cost of Aslan's own life. Of course, the Deep Magic had brought the Lion God back, but she could see that this did nothing to console her brother.

'Ed, I know that you feel guilty over what happened before, and I know that finding out about what Aslan did makes everything worse for you, but please, try to understand what I'm trying to tell you,' she gave him an imploring look, 'this is exactly why Susan and I never told you: because you have no cause to feel so guilty and miserable now!'

Edmund had a look of utter disbelief on his face. 'How can you say that? Aslan gave up his life for me, Lu! For an ungrateful traitor! How am I supposed to feel about that?'

Lucy stood up abruptly and practically glared down at her brother. He looked surprise at the uncharacteristic expression on her face, but returned her gaze steadily nevertheless.

'Yes, Edmund, you're right,' she said coolly. 'You were a git when we first came to Narnia. You did betray your family to Jadis. You most certainly were a traitor! But are you still a traitor, Ed?' Her cold expression gave way to a warm smile. 'No, you're not. Ever since you were rescued from the White Witch, all you have ever done, Ed, was to redeem yourself and make yourself a better person; and you have succeeded in that, Ed! No one else is as loyal to Peter as you are. You rule over Narnia with an iron fist, but all your actions are just and fair. You're selfless and moral, and you stand by us and all the other Narnians. You earned their love and respect and you deserve every bit of it!

'Yes, Ed, you were a traitor,' she continued, smiling through the tears that had accumulated in her eyes, 'and perhaps you're right about how you'll have to live with that guilt forever. But I do also know that _I'm_ right when I say that you don't have to live fearing the past. What's done is done, and you have passed the point where you no longer need to regret your earlier actions, Edmund, because you've done so much more to make everything right again that the past doesn't even matter anymore!

'And Aslan ...' she chuckled slightly. 'Yes, Ed, he did sacrifice his own life for you, but did you ever consider that perhaps you've been thinking about it the wrong way? I don't think that Aslan would have done such a thing if he truly thought that you were just a traitor who deserved death. No, Edmund, he did what he did because, even back then, he saw in you what we see today: a strong, impartial co-ruler who can lead his country to victory in any situation; he saw King Edmund the Just who deserves every bit of happiness offered to him and a life untainted by regrets ...'

Silence reigned over them after Lucy finished her speech. Nothing but the sound of the waves could be heard as Edmund stared up at her with dark wide eyes that revealed every single emotion that he was experiencing at that moment: shock, surprise, disbelief, a touch of embarrassment, and deep love for his sister who was truly a God-sent angel to the Pevensies. Seeing this, Lucy grew a little shy and uncertain at first, for Edmund, though she knew he did love her, had never truly shown his fondness for her with so little restraint. But there it was and Edmund shocked her even more as he stood up abruptly and gathered her into his arms without saying a word.

She stiffened for a moment, but then she hugged him back and let the tears fall. She had meant every single word she had uttered, and it warmed her to know that they had managed to overcome his hurt and anguish. Because Edmund really had changed for the better – and she would have it no other way.

He held her for a long time, letting that special moment last as long as it could, before he finally drew away from her. Without meeting her eyes, he glanced up at the moon and murmured, 'It's very late; we should go.'

Wiping her eyes, Lucy merely nodded and smiled. She did not mind that he had not made any verbal replies to her long speech; she knew that he was not the sort of person to speak when he was emotional. Besides, that simple embrace had spoken volumes.

Edmund turned to head back to the castle, but then suddenly stopped. Uncertainly, almost shyly, he held out his hand to Lucy. For the first few seconds, all she could do was just stare at the appendage as memories from very long ago, back before they had even come to Narnia and before Edmund had first grown spiteful towards her, flooded her mind; vague memories of when he would sometimes offer her his hand when they used to walk to Sunday school together. In fact, she could not even exactly remember the last time she had held hands with her brother.

With the same shyness that Edmund had expressed, Lucy finally accepted his hand. It was rather calloused from all the swordplay he practised, but it was warm and comforting and "brotherly" all the same and she laced her fingers through his, smiling up at Edmund as she did so. He returned the gesture before turning to walk towards the dirt track in the forest.

Sadly though, Lucy did not get to hold Edmund's hand for very long because once they reached the forest, she remembered that she had no slippers and realised that she would probably cut her feet on the thorns and whatnot that littered the forest floor. Lucy almost panicked, thinking that she would be stuck on the beach for the rest of the night, but Edmund merely rolled his eyes and threw her over his shoulder much like how he had done so earlier, and carried her back to the castle, ignoring her exclamations of how undignified it was to be carried like a sack of potatoes.

All was quiet when they at last managed to sneak back into the castle. Evading all the guards, Edmund ran through the dark hallways, still carrying her, and only put her down when he finally reached the corridor where their bedchambers were situated.

'What a ride that was,' Lucy muttered as she straightened her nightgown.

'You're very welcome, Your Majesty,' Edmund retorted sarcastically, rolling his eyes at her.

Lucy could not help but giggle at his typical response. Still smiling, she moved forward to bid him goodnight. Edmund's eyes softened and he grinned back at her as he leaned down to receive her kiss. There were a lot of things that he wanted to tell her, about how grateful he was to her, how healing her words had been, how she had put his mind at ease, but he could find no words to express what he wanted to say, so he simply summed it all up into two words: 'Thank you.'

Her reply was a quick hug and smile, and then they both parted ways as they entered their separate chambers.

Before Edmund went to sleep that night, he threw open the huge windows that overlooked the ocean so that the silvery moonlight flooded his room and he could hear the faint sound of the waves. He let the moonlight chase away all his qualms and doubts before he lay down on his bed and let the music of the night lull him into a world which, for once, was not overshadowed by the darkness of his fears, but was bright with hope for a beautiful future. From then on, Edmund's heart felt lighter than it ever had been, and though he would never let Lucy know, she was the cause of it all.

**END**

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**A/N: Well ... what do you think? This is the first fic I've written for this fandom and I do hope that it turned out OK. I'm pretty pleased with it considering that it's something that only served to relieve some school stress, but I'll leave it up to you to be the judge of this fic. :)**

**So, please do leave a review and let me know if you liked it or not, yeah? Constructive criticism in particular will much appreciated! XD**


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